When I first started this blog, I thought that I was ready to take this journey… however, just like always, I let myself get in my own way. There is always an excuse as to why starting tomorrow will be better and here it is 4 months later and I have lost a total of 6 pounds. I am going to start fresh and try again.
So I signed up for this app/diet plan that sends me a personalized menu based off of what types of food that I like to eat and the type of diet that I would want to follow, as well as customizes the menu based on how many calories I want to eat a day as well as how many times a day that I want to be able to eat. In the first email that I received from them, it asked me to reflect on: my goal, why it matters, and how to start. Right now, I am going to take the time to reflect on each of these three subjects.
My goal:

I entered into the app that my goal weight will be 160 by October 1, 2016. Now, this is quite a stretch but I am willing to try… I have always stood by the concept of dream big, reach big. Why October 1st? Well, my sister and I (she is 32 and I am 27) have always wanted to go to Harry Potter World. We are making that dream come true in October. I want to be able to enjoy my vacation as well as not have to suffer from anxiety about whether or not I will be able to ride all the rides.

Why it matters:

My goal matters because for all of my life I have always been the big girl. When I was little I was always overweight and only when I had an eating disorder did people tell me that I looked better for my height. They never knew I was a mix of anorexic and bulimic just to look better, nobody knew I was struggling with these eating disorders because I never looked emaciated but it was a very real struggle that I had in my life and it was even worse since nobody knew or believed that I was actually suffering from these problems. My goal matters because I want to be healthy and enjoy life and not have to worry with all of the potential health problems and unhappiness that stems from being overweight. I just want to be healthy, happy, and live the best life that I can and I want to do it in a healthy and long term way. I have never been able to do this before, it has always been lose weight here and gain weight there. I want to lose weight and keep it off.

How to start:

I believe I am starting right now. I signed up for a personalized meal plan each week, I am writing about my thoughts and really reflecting on my goals which previously I would just say I need to lose weight without actually thinking or reflecting on why or how I would go about doing so. I am going to stick to this diet plan and try to exercise 3-5 days a week to start.

I am ready for this journey this time around. I just hope I can stick with it and turn away from temptations!